Father to three (plus three), Chaachaa ji and Masar ji to others, Uncle to still others, Dad was quite popular with many. Daadaa and Naanaa were his other popular names - friend he was to many, some of whom lost it at the hospital and others could not call because they would loose it on the phone. With tears still fresh and some still flowing (in Michelle's eyes), I write this blog as a tribute to my father - Capt. Kulwant Singh
Laddi Didi's Eulogy (printed on the bottom) inspired the title - truly, dad was an officer and a gentleman - even in his death. Many other tears will roll that I may not become aware of and therefore create this blog - to record all losses that were/are felt in different parts of the world. Please share in this grief by posting on this blog.....
------
I will try to summarise my past 2 weeks as accurately as possible. I am not of the emotional sort and therefore intend to be objective. I am thankful for the last summer that dad spent with us and, as I look outside, with snow falling and falling temperatures (-22C), I cannot wait for daddy's garden to grow back to the summer glory.
Amrit called, as none other had the strength, to let me know that dad had a stroke and was in the hospital. Perplexed and not knowing the extent of damage, I immediately made reservations through Shammi Virji in NY. Many times had mom/dad had incidents that they had come out of, I was not concerned but still made sure that I had a ticket at a moments notice....past had taught me, with missed occasions of grief - Bade daddy, Harbans uncle - to be prepared. After talking to many, the occasion did not seem as critical....
Only when Mickey Virji called and said that 'it is not fair that we get to have all the fun in the hospital and I am away' and urged me to come, did I make up my mind to fly next day - tickets were electronic and I had the visa. I left for Delhi on Tuesday, Jan 23 American Airline's direct flight.
Arjan asked me why do I have to go - he is attached to me the most (and was to dad) - I replied 'what would he do if his father was sick - he did not ask again AND that surprised me. Arjan is a persistent kind and is very insistent on attention; he does not like people leaving, especially the ones he becomes attached to - dad leaving in 2002 is a clear reminder...Arjan had a hard time adjusting. Dad/mom leaving in 2006 was no different, given the fact that Arjan played rummy with dad every awakened moment - daddy leaving for the backyard gardening as an excuse to get out of that contract!
Michelle and Meera reacted in a different way - they both cried. Surprisingly, Arjan did not do so. M&M understood the graveness of the situation - if nothing else, this was the first time that I was leaving with any of my parents sick - I had ducked all other occasions in the past with my parents surviving all of them. Jaya and Kabeer are too young to understand although I need to watch Jaya closely....
Mannu, Guria and Amrit came to pick me up and apprised me of the situation. That night was spent in the hospital as Mannu and I caught up on our lives. On this side of the border, Mom and Guria were the emotional kinds - Guria being attached to dad the most. It somehow reminded me of dad's relationship with Tini didi and her marriage scene came to life.
I was quite young during Tini didi's wedding but I clearly remember her crying in daddy's arms - may be it was told to me later. I was also told the stories of dad picking/dropping the nieces for the school and once the car backed on him as it stalled....anyways, I could see that relationship through Mini didi's swollen eyes during the whole ordeal. Surely it is tough on Tini didi and Binny didi...as it was tough for me when I was helpless in US during Bade Daddy's passing away....
I think I will have to write this blog in many sittings as I put my thoughts together. I will keep posting photographs as well. I want to end this session by posting the Eulogy written by Laddi Didi.
------
You had in you a dozen years
Or one score if not more.
Who took those years away?
Of all the battles that you fought
Was any more intense
Than the one you fought alone?
And we could only pray.
Your leaving leaves as much a void
As one that happened years ago.
A blood-stained memory that one though
And here you softly slipped away.
It is almost as though you took care
To cause no pain to us who cared
And chose to join your brothers
In the most dignified of ways.
And while we learn to face the truth
That we shall see no more of you
That you are now beyond our ken
You surely know it well yourself
That you were, till your dying breath
More than just an officer
A Gentleman.
1 comment:
Uncle is a wonderful person & no men known to me till date appeal to me as he did . he was perhaps the most helpful, caring, honest,encouraging,zestful,genuin and calm person. i met uncle for the first time through mannu(my tution friend)around 1993.i had gone to mannu's shop in 93and uncle was there. he was very cheerful and friendly.
from thereon it never looked back, one good thing led to another and time flew.mannu & me got into drinking and had the honour to have drinks with uncle. i still remember when mannu proposed to marry guddu in1997 and uncle spoke to me for this. papa not being there i was the one trying to talk things out.
but he made everything look so easy. i stil remember him telling me" sonu relax , they want to get married , so let them be,"
And from thereon our families came together.
everybody in our family had always loved him and known him as an easy going lively cheerful person.
he had faced some difficult times(the theft, the car accdient ,84riots .....) with such strength and ease that it would leave an example for us.
i really feel short of words to say anything in his respect.
i close here stating that i would love to have a drink with him whenever we meet next.
Post a Comment